• Every “unresourceful response” we experience (anxiety, anger, instead of calmness, centeredness) can be used as an opportunity to do parts work • Words used to describe experiences cannot bridge the gap for someone who doesn’t have the requisite experience • → contributes to divides, failures to communicate, lack of sympathy/understanding, etc • phenomenon where once we *do* have the experience trying to be communicated, and we try to communicate it to someone else, we just use the *same* words that *we* heard when we didn’t understand • actually, I kind of use this as a test for when I have got the idea — if when I describe it, I naturally use the same words as everyone else • Alex doing a publicized parts work • physical reaction to inquiring as to what part is appropriate to heal → this is the part coming up • open to the part, thank it for being here, reassure that it’s in a safe space, ask why it has this fear / sense that it needs to be in hiding • get the sense that the part is fearing judgement • nb. “get the sense” vs my experience is usually of the part speaking direcly • ask the part what judgement it’s fearing and from who it is fearing judgement • fear of being weak, lame, not enough in the shadow of an older brother • too true bestie • thank the part for sharing • scott: this is a common experience for parts • scott: inquire into the source of judgement; “who are you afraid will judge you?” • nb. my own fear from expressing love + desire ← fear of judgement • the biggest fear is that Alex will judge; the part is also judging itself • scott: often when we have interna inquiries it’s easy/tempting to go with the answer suggested by the conscious self, but this is mistaken — we are interested in the experience of the part; the conscious self has no bearing here! • ask: what is the highest intention of the part? • part expresses its desires to learn to love itself and feel like enough without external validation • alternatively part *realizes* that it can learn to be enough without ext validation • at this point i got super distracted lol •-- May18 • “Choosing to surrender any resistance we may have to this [good] feeling — it’s okay to feel good” — seems to disacknowledge this resistance • WOW, THAT WAS DELICIOUS — LET’S HAVE ANOTHER ONE. ASAP! • you want us to be a mathematician, and to do something breakthough, and it’s brought us through so much pain — why? why do we cling onto this? I don’t know • violent emotional switch going into class and then falling out of it again • STRONG anxiety joining class and especially breakout rooms • javista • five-five breathing + hands at edge of visual field + moving eyes back and forth in time with bringing thumb and index together • these cause *physiological* changes which give rise to emotional changes. • my existing ways of distracting myself cause no physiological changes • nb could do a few seconds instead of just one if the practice is jaring • do the motion while bringing forth and focusing on the emotion • the idea being that the physiological changes mitigate a strong, would-be-overwhelming emotional/energetic response so that we can better address it • drop the narrative — be with *just* the feeling, not the story • then focus on the opposite feeling and opposite narrative (even if it’s not usual or doesn’t seem true) • keep focus on sensation • then assign one narrative/sensation to one hand, and the opposite to the other, and do the movement moving between the two (slow down the movement) • as you continue, settle into a neutral state between the two poles, a sense of freedom from both and truth above both; ask, what’s the higher truth that unites the heart of both? • this is mostly not a cognitive analysis; you are *opening* to a truth which already exists • nb a true “I don’t know” is a valid synthesis •-- 2022-06-29 LE class notes • how do we bring the ‘enlightenment’, so to speak, to our daily lives? • pausing — ie, taking a moment to step back into the field • question for Fae — ever find that trying to pause the field is really not available? • when this happens Fae defers to LOVE • build the baseline self-love and acceptance then enter self-no-self • find the “closest entrance to home” (ie, something within reach) • self-loathing parts are trying to provide safety • what is the “Christ heart essence” • the core/heart/essence of all life • universal heart of the one life •-- 2022-07-06 • Question: why do we want to cultivate a way of being of all parts loving all parts? • *Do* we want to? Open to soul to find out. • Idle thought — is wanting not itself a part? I can disidentify from the desire, no? • having something of a vision of somebody completely free of attachment • loss brings no pain • able to completely RECEIVE from people because they are content to bring nothing • makes decisions and has preferences but no aversion to a preference not being met • no expectations, and hence complete acceptance of whatever happens to be • takes you on a hike and perhaps says nothing, because there is no desire to fill the silence, because there is no desire to have any particular outcome of the hike • the idea was presented that being controlled / heavily influenced by fear will end up helping to manifest the thing being feared • this really doesn’t click for me • i mean, perhaps if im nervous around being fired then i will perform worse which will increase the likelihood of being fired. but then the firing is due to a *secondary* effect, so another solution besides ‘address the fear’ is to address all secondary effects • I don’t see then, why fear *necessarily* induces the thing feared • secondary effects are *coming from* fear and hence “brings the fear” with it; it ‘vibrates with’ the fear • say one were able to ‘patch over’ all the secondary effects • the fear is still there • still ‘radiating out’ its energy, ‘magnetizing a resonant experience’ (ie, I think, manifesting that which is feared) • ‘resonance field’ • containment can mitigate the effects of fear, but not get rid of it • ‘emanation of vibrations’ • the piece i dont agree with is this sense that a vibration will cause resonant vibrations with other things • scott gives physical examples of such a thing • poesy offers the following — • fear of something can give rise to a certain obsession / worship / etc over the thing • ^ this apparently *is* what scott is talking about? • ie, when he says that fearing something can manifest it he *means* this effect of worship/obsession • these two uses of languages don’t make sense to me • for poesy, fear of incompetence → avoidance of risks that could prove she is incompetent → actually is incompetent • ^ see that totally makes sense to me but it seems to me that this is an interesting effect of incompetence in particular, and that we can’t in general make this claim about fear • my own hyperfocus ($\approx$ obsession?) with programming has not hindered my learning of it, but caused much of this learning! (although my fear of failure does hold me back with programming) • observation: LE is only giving words to experiences I *already have*, helping me notice and discover things that are *already* there • irritation is “violence towards innocence when it inconveniences my persona” — rose’s description of irritation • it’s getting angry at someone for taking up space • it’s *violence* • this description feels *really right* to me to a certain degree. i’m sure there are situations where it doesn’t make sense, and I’m wavering a bit, but still, *wow* • “as long as it’s not fear based, big sticks can be awesome” •-- 2022-08-04 q: cataloguing / abstraction parts is good for systematic touching-in-with-self, but bad for effectively engaging with any particular part because my conception of that part gets in the way dual A: stock-taking, mapping internal world dual B: don't do that, engage with parts directly as they are NOW scott response: have a synthesis. catalogue parts but when engaging with them, do best possible to go to 'childs mind'. be open to parts changing massively between interactions note - this same interplay happens in ALL relationships; we bring conceptions of past versions of a person to who they are now remember as parts are going through an evolutionary journey -- at the end of the journey, the part merges into our heart essence and we become one being note: re-watch this part of the recording rose response: • after doing the work with the part, just straight up ask who they are! • rose says a lot of parts work for her happens before actually knowing who the players are • energy signatures end up being more important than cognitive identification "transmissive" rewritten: Question: when I first started doing parts work, I did a lot of identifying and cataloguing parts. This was useful to have a map of my subconscious, but I found that I was then bringing a lot of cognitive baggage to my meetings with parts. I would ask a question and instead of effectively listening for a response, I would subtly be more in tune with how I *expect* them to respond based on previous actions. So I stopped doing that and started engaging with parts directly. But now I’m lacking a map and am only really able to interface with the loudest part at any given time!