[:December 30th, 2021:] • Yesterday I took in two lectures: the lecture of the day, and the lecture from the week before, which I had missed. • The lectures essentially revolved around the hypothesis that our "actual" selves are beings in a higher place which are innately full of unconditional love, and that our human selves are simply bodies inhabited by these higher selves • The idea is to disidentify from our human selves; in doing so, we shed fear, anxiety, and all the rest: why fear my human self getting hurt when they are not me? In doing so, the world becomes a playground of learning • This idea of play really struck me last night. Here are some things I wrote down (reformatted): • I just can't stop laughing when I think about how we can just play in the world • You can literally do whatever you want • Im looking at this bookshelf and an compelled by the idea that, if I want to, I can take all these books out and categorize them or maybe even read one — play • I remember looking around and being suddenly engaged with the world, as it became my playground, and suddenly shed of anxiety, as my actions become play: try things out, see what happens, fail, because it's all just play. • Additionally, I felt a great sense of personal security: my play is mine alone, and I became disparate from everyone (Olivia), completely alone and not in a bad way. • I felt affected enough to the point that, unlike with many adjacent teachings, I feel compelled to possibly create a practice for play. • The primary thing I want to cultivate is this sense of play; as a facet of this, I would like to pay attention to (but not necessarily cultivate) that sense of personal security. • For now, here is my idea for the practice: write something out that embodies (what I feel to be) the essence of the teachings around play. Daily, take time alone and re-read this, consider it, and edit it as I see fit. Keep all previous versions around. • I can write the first version as I synthesize the notes I have for the past two lectures, and do the daily practice in this journal.