2020-01-13
A system for yearly review. Sam was doing it and offered that I join him.
2020: 8760 Hours
Yearly review & planning for the future following Alex Vermeer's guide "8760 Hours".
II A Snapshot Of Your Life
About the past year:
1. What went well?
- I got into college; nice. And graduated high school
- Doing well in Uni; first semester 3.975 GPA
- Doing well in Uni socially
- Starting to genuinely improve my life as I think I've always wanted
- Made a fantastic organizational system on Notion.so recently
2. What did not go well?
- Still struggled with assignment stress + time management in Uni
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
- Spent too much time doing nothing (starting to fix that)
3. Where did you try hard?
- Studies. But this was due to stress & conditioning rather than genuine interest.
- Personal projects, but only spottily. Recently I began imposing structure & so getting more done.
4. Where did you not try hard enough?
- Hard to say. Studies, perhaps—I often felt like I was e.g. turning in a first draft—but at the same time, that was usually for stuff I didn't care about.
- Projects, perhaps—I was too controlled by my desire or non-desire to work, so I would swap between intense work and no work at all.
- Personal relationships, perhaps. They're not bad, but I do wonder if I don't put enough effort in.
-> What is the current situation here?
Winter break, in the dining room. With sam & Guen. 2:15 PM.
-> How do things stand right now?
Pretty well. I've generally broken down major tasks into subtasks & scheduled them. My daily routine isn't perfect. My emotional needs aren't 100% met—I have no doubt I will continue to struggle with loneliness when break ends.
-> How would I summarize to a friend the status of this area?
Area? The house? It's calm. It's kinda liminal, since everyone is leaving soon & we're in the process of moving stuff to PA.
Or do you mean area of life? Then see my previous answer.
Now we dive deep on each life area.
Worldview & Purpose. 2/5
Still very much murky. though I find myself struggling with it less now that I have a system for getting things done and I can see my progress every day.
However, I don't feel I know my purpose. I have goals, for sure, but less so purpose. This is something I have struggled with for a while.
Contribution & Impact. 3/5.
Am I giving value to the world? Maybe. In small amounts. The biggest way would simply be through interpersonal relationships—talking to people, offering ideas, explaining things, etc. And asking questions. Partially, this is through Twitter.
Otherwise, not much. I have interesting projects & e.g. blog posts that could be given to the world, but simply I haven't. And none of them are huge things as well—just small stuff.
Location & Posessions
4/5
I have basically everything I need, both at home and at University. I just need to keep working on my wardrobe until it's all stuff I'm comfortable with.
Money & Finances
4/5
For a Uni student, I'm doing okay! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I've got an okay job at Uni, though low paying, and I've gotten into the habit of saving money when I'm employed.
I do want to be making more money. Working on Drip, my budgeting app, should in theory help me with that. But version 1.0 is a long way off.
Career & Work. 3/5.
This one is interesting. I am a student: My ideal career path is, I think,
student -> PhD -> prof/researcher
where my money comes from my own business (see: Drip) rather than teaching and inheritence if necessary.
I think I want to head into academia (but free of the economic bonds of making it my job); however, I've lately been less sure. It would probably be prudent to work a few years first and see if I like that.
Either way, being a student is generally okay. I don't yet feel like I'm studying what I really want to be (e.g. type theory), but hopefully I'll get there.
I'm doing an okay job of making connections at Uni. I think the thing is that I have so much going on already that any connections made is just a bigger load.
Health & Fitness. 2/5.
Yikes. Excersize sic: poor. Sleep: poor. Diet: improving; I stopped eating sugar about 2 weeks ago and have done a good job not lapsing.
I think I find excersize sic difficult to put into my routine, and sleep is just really difficult for me—but I've decided to just worry about it less and go with the flow, which works okay (but not fantastically.)
I would love to wake up every day refreshed. There are a lot of barriers in my way and I've tried and failed before, but it's probably still worth attacking.
Knowledge & Education
4/5.
Learning things in Uni. Nice.
Also, started trying to take notes on an article every day. That's been a good learning experience.
I do find myself trapped a bit in a comfort zone, though—e.g. always programming in Python. And I'm not as proactive about learning anymore—if a shell command doesn't work, I'm not curious as to why. I just want the problem solved so I can continue what I was doing.
These are things I'd like to change.
Communication 4/5.
Pretty damn good! I think I do a good job of knowing when my explanations are good or bad, and spending the time to express myself well if the situation demands it. I also think I do a fairly good job of not speaking on things I don't know about and being reasonable.
The blog posts I write are great excersizes sic for this. They take a long time to get right, though.
Note that this category is intillectual sic communication, not interpersonal.
I don't do as well with interpersonal communication. That'd be like a 2/5. I struggle to be vulnerable.
Also, for this reason, I do struggle with talking about difficult topics. Typically I either express myself carefully or refuse to comment, if it's not something I have a fleshed-out opinion on.
Intimate Relationships
没有。 Mandarin Chinese for 'I have none'
Not dating. Kinda want to, kinda don't. Have a few interests at University.
I want to date for the intimacy and partnership, but I don't want to simply because I've got so much shit going on already.
We'll see what happens.
Social Life 3/5
Social life is very well, except that I struggle to get genuinely close and personal with people—I feel like, even with my close Uni friends, I'm internally distant.
I'm also having trouble with keeping HS/MS friends. Several times I've flaked on XXXXX, and I ted to take a long time to respond to messages (I let myself take as long as I want so that I don't get overloaded).
So, day-to-day, things are okay; however, I don't think it's incredibly deep. Besides my family, esp. Sam.
Emotions. 3/5
Hmm
Not sure about this one. Generally okay. Up & down. Very recently, I've been good—sleeping problems because I'm too excited to get up in the morning.
I think I just generally try to flow with my emotions. Though the daily structure I've set up recently—which is the opposite of flowing—has been super awesome.
I think I just don't think about my emotions a lot. It may be useful to start.
Character & Integrity. ?/5
I don't even feel equipped to answer this. I think I avoid these kinds of questions. I don't like compliments.
Things I am:
- Thoughtful
- Pretty honest
- Kina flaky
- Distant
- Autonomous
- Absent-minded
- Funny, it seems
- social & friendly
- Reasonable, I think
-
Overall, I'd say I' mpretty happy with who I am, but, again, I'd need to think about this far more.
Productivity & Organization 4/5
Helllll yeah.
This year, my organization has gotten so much better. My Notion.so is fucking amazing. My room is clean.
I'm organized, baby.
Part of this is that I schedule my tasks, so every day I know what I have to do. This has helped greatly with productivity. It's not perfect, sic I still often fail to get everything done, but it's much better.
Fun & Adventure 3/5
Pretty good, I think.
But I don't feel like I can confidently say "good".
Part of this, I think, is that I'm not yet in my desired area of study (e.g. type theory) which means that I'm not yet intillectually sic thriving.
However, I've got hella projects going on. Fun stuff!
But am I having fun? It's hard to say. Maybe? Fun isn't my focus right now. I'm enjoying myself, but that's different.
I think I don't quite know how to have fun—yesterday, for instance, I finished all my work, but didn't really know what else to do, so I just kept working on something. Which was fun, but was also a project I was invested in, so it wasn't 100% carefree fun.
I guess I don't quite understand the question?
Thinking & Deciding 3/5
Pretty good, I think, in general. But I'm not applying my rationaly to my decision-making.
However, when reading the supplied rationality post ?, I feel less confident.
I suppose I have OK rationality (could be improved) but I fail to apply it to decisions & beleifs sic (some of the time I succeed).
I dunno. I'm flailing a bit writing this. I think I need a break or something. I'll try again on the next page tomorrow.
Thinking & Deciding (II)
- I think one of my best features intellectually is that I am very careful & aware of differing terms. I am good at making sure that me & the person I'm talking to are on the same page abound sic groundwork before the discussion begins.
I didn't express this perfectly, but so be it.
- Generally, I think I am a reasonably rational person. Emotions are definitely still here. However, I don't necessaily sic apply my rationality as much as I should. It's there, but I tend to use it only in certain contexts.
- I'm still not 100% happy with this description, but I ought to move on.
III The Next 8760 Hours
My ideal future:
Worldview & Purpose
I would have a sense of meaning. I would know myself and my values.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Contribution & Impact
I would be involved in a field with other people and be actively participating and appreciated. The field/project would be meaningful to me and impactful to others.
Location & Possessions
I would be very lightweight and able to move around without being anchored. I wouldn't necessarily use this mobility, but I'd at least like to try it sometime.
Money & Finances
I would be making enough money. I would be working for myself, remotely, and/or on something I truly care about and enjoy working on.
Career & Work
Oops, I talked about this in the previous section.
Health & Fitness
I would be healthy. I would consistently excersize sic and sleep
Knowledge & Education
I would be learning about things that interest me. I would be active. I would be relentlessly curious. I would be in a community of individuals who also want these things and who share (some of) my interests.
Communication
I would be able to make myself vulnerable. But doing so would be a choice.
Intimate Relationship
I would be dating somebody I truly love and with whom I work well. We would make each other's lives better. We would learn a lot from each other.
Emotions
My emotions would be available to me, when I want, and to others, when I want. I want emotional control to open and close myself.
Social Life
This one... I'm less sure about. I'm not sure if I want to be more vulnerable with my friends or not. I certainly could continue as is. But do I want to? Unsure
I suppose one thing I would like is a more meaningful social life. A lot of my friendships are social-only. It would be nice to do more stuff with people, make things with them, do projects with them, etc.; and, if I'm feeling good about vulnerability, share stories and ask deep questions with them.
Ideally, I think, my social life would make me feel like part of a network. That's not good phrasing, but so be it. Right now, I think, because I distance myself, I end up feeling lonely when nobody is around. Like my friends are only friends for the moment, and not when I'm away from them. I don't know. It's a difficult feeling to describe. I need to think more about this.
Character & Integrity
I would know myself and truly understand who I am and how I work. And I would be proud of who I am.
Productivity & organization
I would be able to get the things I want & need to do done. And I would be able to do so in a manner I find enjoyable.
Fun & Adventure.
I would enjoy my day-to-day, but also have a healthy amount of adventure in my life. I would regularly try new things. And I would learn from and reflect on those things.
Thinking & Deciding
I would be able to apply rationality very well. I would be aware of when I am being rational and when I am being emotional, and would be able to switch.
YEARLY THEME:
2020 is the year of the system
I would like to focus on making a system that works well for me, and applying it in order to get shit done.
I've had a great experience so far with making a new system; if it lasts the whole year, it's probably pretty good.
Goals: (Fuzzy goals)
- Integrate excersize sic & diet and sleep into my routine
- Get a working prototype of Drip running.
- Practice mindfulness, introspection, and awareness. Do so regularly.
- Finish the semester with good grades. Ideally all As or A-s.
Why these goals?
Excersize sic / diet and sleep
Helps with the health/fitness category, which should improve my overall quality of life.
Drip Prototype
Practice consistent work on a project, and project management—i.e. systems. Also work on something I'm dedicated to that has potential financial benefits in the future.
Mindfulness, introspection, awareness
Should help with many aspects. Most saliently, it should help me be in touch with myself. Will also help acheive sic the goals in Worldview & Purpose, Communication, Intimate Relationship, Emotions, Social Life, Character & Integrity, and Thinking & Deciding
Good grades
Gotta stay in university. Helps me acheive sic my goals in Knowledge & Education. Helps me towards possible goal of PhD and being a prof.
Okay, this is all fine, but my goals aren't specific enough. Let's make some specific goals.
- Buy a water bottle; fill it each morning and finish it by night
- Research diet & exercise. No need to do anything yet; just learn. Dedicate at least an hour a week to research until you feel satisfied.
- Create a working prototype of Drip
- Research mindfulness — just 1/2hr each week until satisfied. Continue cheanting with Seamus and use it as an opportunity to practice presence. Once a week, take some time to write down any thoughts I have and just spend time with myself.
- Keep up with classwork. If you begin to slip, go to someone—anyone, really.
- Add all the above to notion and set up weekly tasks. (Not sure how yet)