They've given all counselors a self-evaluation form to fill out. Because I don't think I can be quite 100% honest with my answers to them, and because I think it will be helpful to be honest with myself, I will complete it here first; this then also gives me answers which I will pare down to place on the sheet I turn in.
Do you demonstrate cooperation with senior staff?
Mostly. I listen to what they say, of course, but, in the end, my decisions are mine to make. If I have concernes, I often to speak sic to Jonah instead of just seething. (Or sometimes I may say nothing and silently not comply—sometimes. E.g. letting kids run) Kay has had an issue with me questioning commands before following them. I try to place myself in a position where I still feel in control and have a sense of agency. I do, generally, comply.
Explain how you respond favorably to inclusive efforts made by senior staff?
(Not sure I 100% understand the question) I often join the weekend trips to Shanghai. I often (use to, before Emily) spend my off nights in bunk 24 staff lounge, basically w/ other staff. I dance to drum circles. I sing along. I accept the responsibility that Dani gives me in Adventure.
How do you show camp spirit and enthusiasm (participating in events, spirit chants, adherence to camp traditions)?
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- OK at nominations
- Dance hard during glow-in-the-dark parties (often/sometimes)
- Sing along at campfire & started joining in w/ camp song
- General enthusiastic/excitable personality
How do you demonstrate general compliance with camp/department rules? (If not, give an example & explain why)
By... generally following the rules? I walk on the sidewalk, follow the schedule, listen to Dani and Jonah, keep campers away from the big saw, ..., I may turn a blind eye to a counselor using the big saw who technically shouldn't, or to myself doing something technically wrong, because I trust them and myself.
How do you show care for camper cleanliness and hygiene? What can be improved?
In my current bunk, we have a "wash hands with soap after using the bathroom" rule which I have enforced when I have noticed that somebody has finished using the bathroom. However, this largely has to do with my own neuroticism rather than a particular care or concern for campers' health. All my campers so far (in all weeks) get themselves into the shower, so I don't have to encourage for that sic. I think many don't use soap/shampoo/conditioner. I have yet to do anything about this, though it does bother me. Overall, I guess I feel like they'll be okay and I want to let them be boys. I don't know. I don't have complete thoughts on this yet.
Do you enforce cleanliness of bunk?
Yep, when we clean during rest hour. Otherwise, anything not too extreme I'll allow. I currently struggle most with enforcing bathroom cleanliness, even during rest hour, simply because I forget since the bathroom is a bit out of the way.
How is your personal appearance? (Appropriate clothing, cleanliness, etc.)
Fantastic. Have you see me? lol Also, though I like to get dirty (e.g. paint, dirt, mud) I am VERY hygenic sic. Neurotically so. Like, I-should-probably-see-a-therapist levels of cleanliness about certain things.
Some may say that being dirty (not "dishygenic" sic) discounts from good appearance, but fuck 'em. I like having fun!
Do you demonstrate care of camp property?
Yeah, generally. I clean up after myself, usually only use tools how they're meant to be used, and enforce the line for the campers between "silly fun" and "destructive behavior"
How do you demonstrate initiative daily?
I don't. Well, maybe. I talk to Jonah about rules and policy I am unhappy with and discuss possible alternatives. I get up and dance even if nobody else is. I tend to take the lead in my bunk (except if I'm with Kieran, then he tends to take the lead moreso than I do).
How well do you work with other staff members (holding temper, thoughtfully responding, speaking camly sic, approachability, ability to receive feedback, flexibility in change of schedule)?
Temper — quite good
Thoughtfulness — very good. I am very thoughtful and humble! It's true, though; I am thoughtful. Just not about all things.
Calmness — if I want to appear calm, which is not always the case
Approachability — good, I think
Feedback — great; Dani even said so (I overheard). I will often be closed off as I recieve feedback; this is to allow myself to process it instead of reacting (I think).
Schedule — Don't take one of my off periods and cite "flexibility". But I will cooperate.
Do you demonstrate ability to relate to campers and put children first? (Give an example)
Meh. I have trouble relating to the kids and being proactive in making relationships. I have trouble being proactive in making relationships with people my age as well.
I have trouble putting kids first as well. I think this is because I try to be sovereign myself, and kind of want the kids to be similar.
I am here if they want to talk to me or play, and I react well to their interactions, but I am not particularly proactive with my own interactions.
Are you punctual to activities?
Yeah, almost always.
Do you demonstrate commitment to camp improvements (providing constructive criticism, asking questions, not complaining)?
Yes, kind of. I am not always thinking of the future of camp and what improvements can be make; however: if I notice a possible improvement I may make a note and, more importantly, if I am unhappy with sometime, I try to think of an alternative and bring it up with Jonah rather than just complaining.
I care about camp improvement, but "commitment" is a bit strong.
Also, as Kay knows, if I am unhappy with something, I will try to find out and understand why it is that way.
Do you, the counselor, take initiative in problem solving? (Give an example in: bunk, activity, or personal areas)
Yes, generally, I think so. Two small examples with the same camper:
1) In the dining hall, he was ripping up the plastic table sheet and said, essentially, that he needed something to do with his hands. I have him a highlighter and took out a pen myself and showed him a pen trick that I had learned so that he could fidget with that instead of the sheet. He didn't really try the trick, but having the pen seemed to help somewhat.
2) He was having serious troubles with mosquito bites during the first campfire. I led him in, essentially, a kind of meditation to help him cope. Sit flat-footed and solid and rub your hands together. Just fiddle and play with your hands. Focus on what they are feeling. Focus on the physical sensation. If you get distracted, bring yourself back to the hand rubbing.
When he complained about the itching, I would remind him to do this, and I think it helped distract from the itching until we got back to the bunks.
Rate your ability to enforce camp regulations and safety procedures.
Pretty good. I have no problem repeating myself (also, I think I'm pretty patient), using a forceful toneXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Sometimes I just can't be assed to do enforcement. Also, I let kids break certain rules.
(cont.) Ex. Helmets, life jackets, goggles, sportsmanship, etc. What protocols are you not following?
Sportsmanship is a camp regulation?
I think a good answer here is: for the rules I value/care about, i.e. when I attempt enforcement, I am good at it (generally); however, I am lenient with what I enforce.
I let kids run, I don't wear sunscreen or bugspray and generally don't check my kids for sunscreen or bugspray, ... probably a few others.
Would you return to GW Greenwoods? If comfortable, please explain.
I have greatly enjoyed my time here and would like to return, but I have no idea where my life will take me in the next year.
— END SELF-REFLECTION —
The thing is, I appreciate the message about care and love; however, people learn to take care of themselves via practice and msitake. I can tell my kid that sunscreen is important, but a fucking painful sunburn would probably do a better job at teaching them. Yikes. Experience is how I tend(ed) to learn best, and I projected that onto them. Mistaken, and potentially harmful.
Perhaps one week is not long enough time to teach lessons in this manner, though.