Journal #2 • 090-093

Jul 14 2019

Last night (today is Jul 14 2019) I went clubbing for real for the first time. The last time we me and other counselors on weekends off went we didn't end up going to a club club. I also got the most drunk I ever had.

RJ set us up at some place. We got a bus to downtown Shanghai, went to an ATM and then shake shack and then Found 158, where I had my first Mojito (50 元) which was OK; I preferred the Gin & Tonic Rosie had ordered & the Long Island Armand had ordered.

Finally we went to the place, called Sky or something. We met up with the other half of the group which, surprisingly, included Emily my crush. When we were all ready, we went inside.

Dark, lights, drinks, people—it was a club. Somehow, RJ had finessed us free drinks so we all began drinking and a little dancing. I talked to Emily a bit, but not a ton. We all went onto the dancefloor, then back off. It was alright. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The issue, as I was soon to find out, was that I wasn't drunk enough. I found this out by becoming drunk enough in the following time.

It was wild. I would describe it as being half-asleep. Dancing, jumping around, not fully aware of your surroundings or, probably, your own body. It was a pretty good time.

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During the night, both Rosie and Lizzy baby-fed me alcohol. Rosie even, I think, spilled some on my clothes.

I remember being on the dance floor and trying to talk with Emily but it was far too loud for either of us to hear each other, so I pulled out my phone and we typed on the notes app.

I remember taking moments to try and focus and be present as if sober, focusing on the giant TV screens displaying crazy imagery.

Rosie pulling me outside for some fresh air and checking that I'm okay.

When many of us started getting ready to leave, we gathered outside. Jonah told me that (apparently) one of the bouncers was close to kicking me out. The bouncer was nice about it; he found me outside and offered to get a cab for me. When Jonah told me this, I really wanted to go back and apologize to the bouncer and also thank him for looking out for me. Jonah, Raven, Rosie, and (partly) Rachel wouldn't let me, despite my insistence.

As we were loutering outside, I felt nauseous but never threw up (it was suggested to me that I throw up on purpose, but I hadn't thrown up in a long time and I wanted to continue that streak). Rachel bought some water and muffins for me and (I think) other drunk folk.

When we started getting cabs, the routine was like: call a cab, load ~4 people in, Emily gives the driver instructions XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, repeat. At some point two German guys approached a cab that we had already filled. Jonah was getting annoyed and telling them to fuck off; I didn't say a lot but was super tense and kind of ready to punch one of them if need be. They did not seem threatened (even though they were 2 and we were ~6 at the time) and eventually walked off. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When the cab drove off, she began to walk back to where we were all sitting. She walked to me, arms out, and hugged me, and I hugged her back. It was kind of unexpected and very nice.

Then, after, I was sitting, as were most, waiting for cabs. We were in a line, and I was on one end. She continued on page 97